bored

it is Tuesday night and I forgot my friends went to taco tuesday. I wish I had remembered, but instead I went to go play volleyball. Not too sure what my priorities are. Getting healthy? or Drinking and eating with friends? Only if I had remembered... I would have been at taco tuesday.

long long time.

It's been a long time since I last blogged or even though about this site. I honestly do not know what brings me on here tonight. Life is going well. San Diego is leveling out for me. I am content with my life. It is nice to see myself actually handle my responsibilities. finally grow up a bit. with growing up i have actually lost some things that i used to be able to do. I used to be able to go out and party all night long. now my nights end early, i have lower tolerance for alcohol, but its all good. im handling my shit.

it's weird being away from San Jose for so long. It feels like I've lost my friends up there. There has been only 1 person that I have been communicating on a more frequent basis. I don't know why, but that person is there for me even though we stopped talking for awhile.

I suppose you can classify this as a random blog. I just wonder who still uses and reads xanga. this is definitely ancient in the computer world.

randomness

not feeling well

so lately ive been feeling like crap. i think all my working out is taking a toll on my body. my routine now is go to school. come home. work out. play bball or vball depending on the day. saturdays and tuesdays i pick up vball. and pretty much every other day i play bball. then before i go to bed i work out some more. i dont know if i could keep this up anymore. but then i think. no pain no gain. so i gotta stay healthy and active somehow. sometimes i think i push my body to its limit. sometimes i feel like i push too hard.

Done.

So. The two nights that just passed I have gotten what people call wasted. During those two nights I did very stupid and childish things. The first night I do not recall any event. I woke up with my hand hurting and I suppose I punched something because I was heated. That night I had too much to drink. Then just last night was did some very stupid things. I nearly ran one of my bestfriends over because I wanted to go buy a breakfast sandwich from yum yum donuts. After I get to yum yum, I call one of them. They told me that he was mad that I nearly killed him. After I got my sandwich I drove over to his house and broke down. A lot is going on in my life right now. You as a reader might think what can be so bad? There is a lot.

For instance I do not work for bestbuy anymore. I have a pretty hefty fine that I have to pay soon. There is a lot of pressure that I make up in my head. I know this isn't the best reason for what I had done because situations can be far worse. In my life right now I feel that I am at my lowest. I'm sure if you look through my other entries I've said something similar to what I am saying now.

For whoever still reads this, my mom is currently in Vietnam because my grandpa is very ill. Not many people know that but I am spilling my guts to people that might still read this.

Money has become a key issue to my problems. There are a lot of NEEDS. I need to get my car tune up. I need to get an oil change. I need to pay the ticket. I need to get my life straight. I need to go to school. I need to get healthier. I need to not fuck up anymore.

Mistakes cost a bundle. Just more than I can handle right now. I already have a lot on my plate. I don't want too much because then I might drop the plate and be in a worse situation then I am now.

I just wish this will be over soon. I don't want to feel shitty every morning I wake up. I don't want to stress anymore. This might sound like a suicide note, but it's not. It's a begginning. A new start. Where I stand only goes up. This seems like a horrible blog. I don't think so. It is a reality check. It is for me to look forward to things. From here it only gets better.